Best Way to Wreck a Ferrari – for Extreme Idiots Only

I discovered that breathing nitrous oxide, without a breath of fresh air in between hits, is an excellent way to wreck a Ferrari – or any other car for that matter. On this occasion, I’d treated myself to a triple-black custom-turbo convertible Ferrari for my first semester in law school (Fall 1998). Then I had the brilliant idea to drive around sucking whippets (laughing gas). As I drove up the 183 onramp…in a blackout…..I awoke to find my car buried to the windshield under the rusted bumper of a work truck. It took six weeks and $16K to repair my front end, and I wound up paying the truck driver at least twice what the truck was worth, even though it did nothing but raise the bumper several inches. So when I got the Ferrari out of the shop, what did I do? I smoked myself blue in the face and went to visit a friend…who lived on a steep hill. Neglecting to put her in gear, or turn my tires to the curb, I wrenched up the emergency brake, sort of, and went inside. Yes, it sure did. Ten minutes later, a concerned neighbor knocked on the door asking if anyone drove a Ferrari? Honest to God, it took a ghost ride down the hill, narrowly avoided three parked cars, one car driving, four trees, and rolled to stop not more than six feet from the front door of a house – seven houses down. God gave me a free pass that day, yet another miracle, one of countless miracles I never paused to appreciate, much less learn from. God’s never parked another Ferrari in my driveway. Guess I’ll have to leave the drugs and Ferraris to the big boys.

Ah, the good ole days….or not:/      mot ferrari

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