At the strapping age of 17 – NOT, punching a cop might sound insane, but after two hits of acid and a case of Coors Light, it was a fantastic decision I could never regret. Gary Christian and I had struck off for Galveston, hoping to reconnect with some gals from the previous weekend, at least I was. (Gary didn’t do too well with the ladies – as you HP women should recall) Being an idea man, I thought a little acid for the road trip was a brilliant plan, until the car overheated outside Houston. For some reason, the tow truck driver wanted nothing to do with us, or me. Despite my polite and persistent pleas, the bear sized jerk instead tossed me through a plate glass window. (What was his problem?) When the cops and ambulance arrived, I tried explaining who in the hell I thought I was. They then argued amongst themselves, was the twerp off to jail or the hospital? I quickly decided the matter for them by punching the biggest cop in the face. It was off to jail for this fool, but I was bleeding so profusely, they had to take me to the hospital first. Later, after lots of stitches, in a backroom at the police station, they schooled me with their nightsticks. Tasers weren’t around yet. (One good thing about acid, I didn’t feel a thing:) So what’s the take away here? It’s obvious and exactly what you might think: Be kind to people on acid. Remember their brains are fried. They’re living on a different planet. Listen to them. Be patient. Give them money.
SERIOUSLY: Despite my egregious behaviors, God gave me one free pass after another to continue moving forward in life. Being a dumbf#ck isn’t funny, cute, cool or excusable. Please don’t look for any justifications here, or anywhere else. You probably won’t be as lucky. I thank God daily for his mercy…because I deserved none of it.