Greeting the President with my Pants Ripped Off – a Safety Lesson

Working Secret Service gigs might sound glamorous, but there were some embarrassing moments – even without alcohol. In January 1995, the Secret Service found an old WWII pineapple grenade at the Los Angeles town hall where the President was to speak the following day, so they scrambled a six man detail from Coronado to augment their bomb security TSD (technical support division). I realized my suit was a little too tailored, I was a little too tan, and that my hair was a little too slicked back because when I reported in the chief Secret Service agent asked me – who’s in charge of your detail slick? I smugly replied – that would be Lieutenant Slick. A second later my foot inadvertently grazed the tail of the Army bomb sniffing dog – which instantly went for a chunk of my right thigh. Thank God my trousers were fluffed around the thigh. The mean bastard misjudged his bite and only got a mouthful of fabric, but he ripped the entire pant leg off revealing my boxers. The chief agent laughed heartily and said – Slick, the motorcade’s arriving in 3 minutes, you don’t have time to change. So I stood there under the Beverly Wilshire Hotel porte-cochere as the President pulled in, enduring the photo flashes with my underwear showing. I looked ridiculous! The point of this story applies to everyone: If you see any type of trained working dog, beit a seeing eye dog, bomb or drug sniffing dog, keep your children and yourself far away from it. I love animals, but all working dogs are mean bastards – and their handlers will be the first to admit it.

Not the desired look of the US Secret Service.  A secret service

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