Ridding Yourself of Stalkers

Stalkers are a nightmare, and yes, even straight men can have straight men stalkers. I’m plagued with them. They’re either deadbeats trying to wiggle into my business affairs, or losers looking for a new best friend, and despite my continual put offs, they just don’t get it. The more I ignore them, the more persistent they become, cycling through every phase of rejection, they try to invoke guilt, or say they’re worried, then they get angry, and show up at my hangouts. It’s ridiculous. I don’t know how women put up with that crap. The only escape that works for me is to wait until they’re deep in the anger phase, and then lash into them with two simple words – F#CK OFF! They’ll leave a few messages after that to which I never respond, because I never responded, then it’s either put up or shut up. Don’t worry, all stalkers are cowards. They’ll shrink away. If they step up, get it over with – and KILL THEM! Ladies, you’ll have to find a badass who’ll stand up for you, but there are plenty of wanna be heroes out there, just find one that’s legitimate. To rid yourself of a stalker, they have to know you hate them, and it’s ass kicking time. It’s the only thing that works.

The funniest thing about stalkers (if there is such a thing) is that they always accuse other men of being stalkers and characterize themselves as knights in shining white armor coming to the rescue of women. Sound familiar? One guy two months ago said this gal he adored had moved back to Pittsburg to get away from a stalker. (I knew it was him) Then he calls a month later and says he’s been arrested in Pittsburg. Here is trying to help this poor gal and her father has him arrested for stalking – can you believe it – how outrageous! Thank God he’s in jail. That jerk used to call me twenty times a day. (And I’ve never taken this guys calls. He just keeps leaving messages like I’m his mother and give a sh#t)

I once had a one week fling with a gal who swung by my house at 4 am for the next two years. Not once did I open the door. (Fortunately she got sober) In 2004, I had a live in girlfriend, and this guy I knew would call her 20 times a night – at midnight and leave crazy messages – lamenting their true love gone awry. (The guy was 30 years older, and there was no history, just total delusion) Then I’d see that guy the following day and he’d run up to me like I was his best friend. Stalkers are crazy, for real. Don’t let the situation fester. Deal decisively with these turkeys.

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