This Month’s Quotes from Fitness/Athletic Posers

We all know phony’s who buy the expensive gear (bicycles, sparring equipment, fancy clothing, pay for private lessons, and take all of the latest greatest supplements).  But these folks rarely have an ounce of athletic ability, quit early at every workout – if they even train, and say the most ridiculous things.  I’d thought I’d share a few:

1.       Before we get started – Let’s take a moment of silent appreciation for the creepy dude at the gym who grunts loudly as if about to orgasm.  Gotta love that guy – NOT! 

2.      One of Dena’s recent Pilate’s students said – That last workout didn’t take my legs to failure, but my thighs did grow 2 inches the following day.  (For real!  And she’s loaded.  How does this happen?)   

3.     Many females say this – I can’t lift weights.  I bulk up with muscle really fast.  (This is what you call delusional.)       

4.      M. Anderson – This lunatic looked me right and the eye and said – Your veggie shakes are working great for me.  I lost 70 pounds last week!  (I certainly wish this were true.  I’d be a billionaire!)

5.     A lady said to me the other day – I’m allergic to all proteins and vegetables.  (Aghhh!  She was obviously not allergic to wine and Twinkies.  You should see this gal.)

6.      Now deceased from an overdose, Michael Gentgen once said on my voicemail – I’ll fight you, any man, anytime, anywhere – including Guy Mezger.  (I called him back and of course got his voicemail.  I said I played the message for Guy and my phone blew up with apologies and retractions.  What a surprise!  Mike used to carry a mesh gear bag full of sparring equipment everywhere he went – even into the country club for Sunday brunch.  He never sparred once in his life.)

7.      Dena had a consultation with a lady yesterday who was testing highly acidic.  When Dena suggested eating baby carrots as a snack – the lady said she didn’t want that much sugar in her diet – that potato chips were better!!  (Why can’t we kill these people?)

If you’ve got some good idiot quotes for me – please pass them along.

Got any good quotes for me?    Carr 47 B 050

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